I've lost count of how many times I tried to hold back and not post this, because I know it'll just fume unnecessary drama and I've been going through way too many personal fuck ups right to even deal with that. But I just had to let this out.

You made me do this.

Jun, you were once an important friend. I know you yourself cant and wont deny that fact. And as an important friend I was always trying my best to be there for you, and I've lost count of how many times I tried to help you even with the tiniest issues in your life, knowing you're not exactly the type of person who could handle it well but it was okay. I was alot younger, yet stronger, and I never did mind being a little more stronger for you, standing up straighter for you despite the shits I'm going through myself. I have issues too, but never did I let those get in a way of our friendship.

Then there's Chuu, and you know I'm one of those people who've been the happiest for you, knowing love is exactly what you need to keep your chin up in times like these. And relationships are always rocky at first, especially in your case where everything and everyone seem like they're all against your love and again, I tried my very fucking best to help you even up to times that it's not even convenient for me anymore. But as time passed everything started to sink into me. No, those people aren't the reason why you and your girlfriend can't seem to stay fucking stable, nor does her past have anything to do with it. It's you, it's always been all about you.

And I dont even know where to begin to back that up. You've cost alot of drama in your own relationship, but they were always, always for the same, mundane, useless reasons. Basically, you've been complaining alot about the relationship you claim you treasure, and yet you cant even stretch your understanding a bit fucking more for her. She had a past she can't just forget overnight, nor in a span of months, and there are bound to be times when it'll haunt her back no matter how much she tried burying them and you... God, you.

You'd freak out, you'd tell her shit, and would do anything except make her feel better like what you're supposed to do. And there was even a time that I had to come in between just so you guys would made up. Do you remember that? Do you remember when I had to talk to Chuu just so I could explain your side and for some strange reason, she just started to pour it all out on me? Me, a stranger, whom she've just met just a few hours ago? And do you remember how you reacted? You confronted her about why she's telling me things when she's supposed to be telling you and god, I can't believe you even had the fucking nerve to ask back then. She doesn't trust you, and she have read and predicted exactly how you'd react that's why she couldn't even tell you. She knows you'd just create a huge fucking deal over it and it'll result to nothing.

God, I've been wanting to tell you that. And after posting this, I know I'll feel so much better but I'm not yet done.

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut, knowing that despite the things I know, it's still none of my business. And believe it or not I still tried to be there for you despite me, honestly, starting to get fucking irritated hearing the same old song about you two arguing. I started to get more sick of it, plainly because you've been giving me more reasons to feel that way, but what sickens me more is how you guys would fight over the same fucking thing, then you'd come over for advice, but you'll end up fighting about it after a few days. It's like I'm giving insights to a fucking mindless creature who can't fucking learn from her mistakes. Hell, I'm not even supposed to be involved in your fights, but being a friend that I'm supposed to, I still tried, even if had made me hate you more than I thought it would.

Then that issue about 'Dirge' happened. I know most of the people here have read our fic, hence they have every right to know what truly happened and why there hadn't been updates for months. You said you're disappointed at yourself, saying that my updates seem to get more enthusiastic reviews than yours, and that you needed some time to finish the next and improve your writing. Honestly, that didn't came out right for me, and I was truly disappointed at you seeing it that way but I let it past and still tried my best to stretch my understanding, but what flamed me more was when you started ignoring me despite you claiming "youre disappointed at yourself". Can you imagine how that made me feel? The way you made me furious was just imaginable, that despite us getting past through that didn't make it all anywhere better for me.

Then a few days ago I had my peak, and started to ignore you. And it fucking hurts me to do so, believe me. But I thought you need to get something in your head. I thought you need to realize that not all people are going to fucking comfort you, not all people need to put you ahead of themselves, not all people are gonna stick around with how you've been acting, and that you need to realize that you need to stand up for yourself. I thought that by ignoring you, you'll realize how disappointed I am with you, and that you'd atleast start to stretch a little bit of your understanding and let things sink in that head of yours but I was wrong. I was complete wrong and fuck, I dont understand why I even hoped for you to somehow understand. You're a fucking hopeless case, Jun. You are.

I'm tired being ignored all the times. You, Miss Gracie.. What the hell is wrong with you? I know it's not your first time pushing your friends away. If you really want to end our friendship, fine. Be it. Just so you know, you once were a very great friend. But you disappointed me, to the point I've lost trust in my friends. All of them, not only you. Thanks, Gracie.

I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe how you managed to even say that.
I can't believe you can sum everything up and make it look like it's my fucking fault.

I just....
*sighs*

You know what? I'm done with you, Jun. And if that's what you believe, then so be it. If you think I cant even have some goddamn space for myself then so be it. If you think I'm ignoring you and enjoying the idea, believe whatever it is you want to believe. I'm just...done.

And I know there are lots of people here in my friends list who knows her too, but I dont care.

I just sick of taking in all of her bullshit.

ラベル: shit happens, this is srs bsns

I've lost count of how many times I tried to hold back and not post this, because I know it'll just fume unnecessary drama and I've been going through way too many personal fuck ups right to even deal with that. But I just had to let this out.

You made me do this.

Jun, you were once an important friend. I know you yourself cant and wont deny that fact. And as an important friend I was always trying my best to be there for you, and I've lost count of how many times I tried to help you even with the tiniest issues in your life, knowing you're not exactly the type of person who could handle it well but it was okay. I was alot younger, yet stronger, and I never did mind being a little more stronger for you, standing up straighter for you despite the shits I'm going through myself. I have issues too, but never did I let those get in a way of our friendship.

Then there's Chuu, and you know I'm one of those people who've been the happiest for you, knowing love is exactly what you need to keep your chin up in times like these. And relationships are always rocky at first, especially in your case where everything and everyone seem like they're all against your love and again, I tried my very fucking best to help you even up to times that it's not even convenient for me anymore. But as time passed everything started to sink into me. No, those people aren't the reason why you and your girlfriend can't seem to stay fucking stable, nor does her past have anything to do with it. It's you, it's always been all about you.

And I dont even know where to begin to back that up. You've cost alot of drama in your own relationship, but they were always, always for the same, mundane, useless reasons. Basically, you've been complaining alot about the relationship you claim you treasure, and yet you cant even stretch your understanding a bit fucking more for her. She had a past she can't just forget overnight, nor in a span of months, and there are bound to be times when it'll haunt her back no matter how much she tried burying them and you... God, you.

You'd freak out, you'd tell her shit, and would do anything except make her feel better like what you're supposed to do. And there was even a time that I had to come in between just so you guys would made up. Do you remember that? Do you remember when I had to talk to Chuu just so I could explain your side and for some strange reason, she just started to pour it all out on me? Me, a stranger, whom she've just met just a few hours ago? And do you remember how you reacted? You confronted her about why she's telling me things when she's supposed to be telling you and god, I can't believe you even had the fucking nerve to ask back then. She doesn't trust you, and she have read and predicted exactly how you'd react that's why she couldn't even tell you. She knows you'd just create a huge fucking deal over it and it'll result to nothing.

God, I've been wanting to tell you that. And after posting this, I know I'll feel so much better but I'm not yet done.

I tried my best to keep my mouth shut, knowing that despite the things I know, it's still none of my business. And believe it or not I still tried to be there for you despite me, honestly, starting to get fucking irritated hearing the same old song about you two arguing. I started to get more sick of it, plainly because you've been giving me more reasons to feel that way, but what sickens me more is how you guys would fight over the same fucking thing, then you'd come over for advice, but you'll end up fighting about it after a few days. It's like I'm giving insights to a fucking mindless creature who can't fucking learn from her mistakes. Hell, I'm not even supposed to be involved in your fights, but being a friend that I'm supposed to, I still tried, even if had made me hate you more than I thought it would.

Then that issue about 'Dirge' happened. I know most of the people here have read our fic, hence they have every right to know what truly happened and why there hadn't been updates for months. You said you're disappointed at yourself, saying that my updates seem to get more enthusiastic reviews than yours, and that you needed some time to finish the next and improve your writing. Honestly, that didn't came out right for me, and I was truly disappointed at you seeing it that way but I let it past and still tried my best to stretch my understanding, but what flamed me more was when you started ignoring me despite you claiming "youre disappointed at yourself". Can you imagine how that made me feel? The way you made me furious was just imaginable, that despite us getting past through that didn't make it all anywhere better for me.

Then a few days ago I had my peak, and started to ignore you. And it fucking hurts me to do so, believe me. But I thought you need to get something in your head. I thought you need to realize that not all people are going to fucking comfort you, not all people need to put you ahead of themselves, not all people are gonna stick around with how you've been acting, and that you need to realize that you need to stand up for yourself. I thought that by ignoring you, you'll realize how disappointed I am with you, and that you'd atleast start to stretch a little bit of your understanding and let things sink in that head of yours but I was wrong. I was complete wrong and fuck, I dont understand why I even hoped for you to somehow understand. You're a fucking hopeless case, Jun. You are.

I'm tired being ignored all the times. You, Miss Gracie.. What the hell is wrong with you? I know it's not your first time pushing your friends away. If you really want to end our friendship, fine. Be it. Just so you know, you once were a very great friend. But you disappointed me, to the point I've lost trust in my friends. All of them, not only you. Thanks, Gracie.

I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe how you managed to even say that.
I can't believe you can sum everything up and make it look like it's my fucking fault.

I just....
*sighs*

You know what? I'm done with you, Jun. And if that's what you believe, then so be it. If you think I cant even have some goddamn space for myself then so be it. If you think I'm ignoring you and enjoying the idea, believe whatever it is you want to believe. I'm just...done.

And I know there are lots of people here in my friends list who knows her too, but I dont care.

I just sick of taking in all of her bullshit.

ラベル: shit happens, this is srs bsns