CURRENT MOOD: [ Okay...? xDD ]
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Cassis - the GazettE

*sings 'I am back' while throwing cherry blossoms for added effect*
Why hello thar, my little minions-in-training! *pats everyone in the head*

I know the last entry felt a little off, and I'm sorry. Just when you're feeling down and lonely and restricted and frustrated, things get a little out of hand. And although my personal thoughts and feelings are the things I usually keep for myself, there were also times that I get comfort by the fact that people could read what I'm thinking. It makes me feel like I'm not alone, though probably half (if not all) of you don't really give a flying fuck but uh, *laughs*

Anyways,
I've added some webtools in my blog, sekritly hidden somewhere I am soo not willing to point out. xDDD And no, it wasn't just the Feedjit nor the online user tracker. I also installed an IP blocker, just so some fuckwit wont be able to track my blog anymore. I also added an IP tracker that lets me track a visitor's IP address, the reference site, the resolution, OS, browser, time of the visit, exact location and even their computer's name.

Now normally, I don't really give a ratass about who hits my blog or for how long they stay, but since I've been getting random hits from people who seems to have blocked their own IPs in feedjit (thus not letting me see their views) I think it's just necessary. This is my blog, hence I have every right to know who reads my personal entries and I know, me being able to track your IPs might feel a little off but don't worry, I have no intention whatsoever to hack your computers, much less block them if I know you mean no harm. This would've been settled the right way if only people have the hobby of tagging on my cbox to have their presence known but since alot of people chose to be just invisible, random lurkers then I guess I didn't have any other choice. *shrugs*

Unless I feel like I need to, I wouldn't expose what I could get from you and your hits, so don't stress yourselves out over it. But if it had started to seriously piss me off (let's say, having tons of views from the same IP yet I'm not getting any tags from them) then perhaps I'll do something about it.

Just...hit and tag, or don't hit at all.

On other news, I was shit-faced last night. LOL
I was supposed to be writing some papers when my sister called me, asking me about the new dress I bought just recently. And althought she didn't really say anything about it, I knew right then and there that her message screams "I HAVE WINE AND SOME BEER LET'S DRINK OUR ASSES OFF." And normally, I would've said 'no', not because I'm a wuss but because dad gets all shouty and pouty and ranty whenever I'd get drunk with Guia, which err, actually makes me a wuss so... O.O

But ANYWAYS,
I went there, drank half of what she bought and went home straight ahead before I bawl my eyes out infront of her and reveal my deepest, darkest secrets (a.k.a, the things that had been bothering me, which I have NO INTENTION of letting her know). I know that it might have seem like I needed someone to talk to, and perhaps if she only sensed that something's up I might've spilled it out but I didn't. Maybe I just needed the alcohol to feel temporarily numb and delirious. Because that way it'll keep my head off of my silly thoughts.

So I got home (walked my way when I can barely stand, actually) went straight to the shower, opened Lilith, and I was sooo ready to share the story when I just...passed out. Wet and naked on my bed.

And when I got up earlier, it's like....I never felt better. I never felt so refreshed and satisfied and happy. I know a couple of beer bottles can't wash problems away, but it was probably the experience that knock some sense out of me. I threw myself in situations I'm in, henceforth I have nobody to blame but myself. But no matter how much I struggle in the middle just to get through it, I know in the end I'd reach the place where I want to be. There will be lots of stormy emotions, lot of heartbreaks, lot of disappointments. I'd wobble and fall and crawl and stand on spaghetti legs but just as long as I know and I am aware of how strong I am, or just how bad I want it, I'd still come back home.

Right now, I know I'm strong enough to get through this, whatever it was.
And what's more important is that I'm not the only one counting on myself. *smiles*

*sighsssss*
OMG, I feel amazing! *throws arms in the air*
I've never had such heartfelt entry in such a long time, eh? It feels kind of refreshing. xDDDD

Sadly though, I'm gonna have to leave because it's 12 and my head's still pounding and my tummy's still twisting and I think my PMS is on its way but hey, I'll be fine.

I know I'll be fine. ♥
And one more thing;

Because he's adorable and we all love him. xDDDDD
(and oh, I made them so steal them without my permission you're dead. D:<)

EDITTT;
Am I the only one who noticed that Cassis is playing EVERY DAMN TIME I write entries like these? o.O

ラベル: bawwww, being a happy twat, fangirlism is the best ism evarrr, gazerock is hardcore love, hah bloody hah, harhar, iconsss, this is srs bsns, uruduckie♥, useless worthless babblings

CURRENT MOOD: [ Okay...? xDD ]
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Cassis - the GazettE

*sings 'I am back' while throwing cherry blossoms for added effect*
Why hello thar, my little minions-in-training! *pats everyone in the head*

I know the last entry felt a little off, and I'm sorry. Just when you're feeling down and lonely and restricted and frustrated, things get a little out of hand. And although my personal thoughts and feelings are the things I usually keep for myself, there were also times that I get comfort by the fact that people could read what I'm thinking. It makes me feel like I'm not alone, though probably half (if not all) of you don't really give a flying fuck but uh, *laughs*

Anyways,
I've added some webtools in my blog, sekritly hidden somewhere I am soo not willing to point out. xDDD And no, it wasn't just the Feedjit nor the online user tracker. I also installed an IP blocker, just so some fuckwit wont be able to track my blog anymore. I also added an IP tracker that lets me track a visitor's IP address, the reference site, the resolution, OS, browser, time of the visit, exact location and even their computer's name.

Now normally, I don't really give a ratass about who hits my blog or for how long they stay, but since I've been getting random hits from people who seems to have blocked their own IPs in feedjit (thus not letting me see their views) I think it's just necessary. This is my blog, hence I have every right to know who reads my personal entries and I know, me being able to track your IPs might feel a little off but don't worry, I have no intention whatsoever to hack your computers, much less block them if I know you mean no harm. This would've been settled the right way if only people have the hobby of tagging on my cbox to have their presence known but since alot of people chose to be just invisible, random lurkers then I guess I didn't have any other choice. *shrugs*

Unless I feel like I need to, I wouldn't expose what I could get from you and your hits, so don't stress yourselves out over it. But if it had started to seriously piss me off (let's say, having tons of views from the same IP yet I'm not getting any tags from them) then perhaps I'll do something about it.

Just...hit and tag, or don't hit at all.

On other news, I was shit-faced last night. LOL
I was supposed to be writing some papers when my sister called me, asking me about the new dress I bought just recently. And althought she didn't really say anything about it, I knew right then and there that her message screams "I HAVE WINE AND SOME BEER LET'S DRINK OUR ASSES OFF." And normally, I would've said 'no', not because I'm a wuss but because dad gets all shouty and pouty and ranty whenever I'd get drunk with Guia, which err, actually makes me a wuss so... O.O

But ANYWAYS,
I went there, drank half of what she bought and went home straight ahead before I bawl my eyes out infront of her and reveal my deepest, darkest secrets (a.k.a, the things that had been bothering me, which I have NO INTENTION of letting her know). I know that it might have seem like I needed someone to talk to, and perhaps if she only sensed that something's up I might've spilled it out but I didn't. Maybe I just needed the alcohol to feel temporarily numb and delirious. Because that way it'll keep my head off of my silly thoughts.

So I got home (walked my way when I can barely stand, actually) went straight to the shower, opened Lilith, and I was sooo ready to share the story when I just...passed out. Wet and naked on my bed.

And when I got up earlier, it's like....I never felt better. I never felt so refreshed and satisfied and happy. I know a couple of beer bottles can't wash problems away, but it was probably the experience that knock some sense out of me. I threw myself in situations I'm in, henceforth I have nobody to blame but myself. But no matter how much I struggle in the middle just to get through it, I know in the end I'd reach the place where I want to be. There will be lots of stormy emotions, lot of heartbreaks, lot of disappointments. I'd wobble and fall and crawl and stand on spaghetti legs but just as long as I know and I am aware of how strong I am, or just how bad I want it, I'd still come back home.

Right now, I know I'm strong enough to get through this, whatever it was.
And what's more important is that I'm not the only one counting on myself. *smiles*

*sighsssss*
OMG, I feel amazing! *throws arms in the air*
I've never had such heartfelt entry in such a long time, eh? It feels kind of refreshing. xDDDD

Sadly though, I'm gonna have to leave because it's 12 and my head's still pounding and my tummy's still twisting and I think my PMS is on its way but hey, I'll be fine.

I know I'll be fine. ♥
And one more thing;

Because he's adorable and we all love him. xDDDDD
(and oh, I made them so steal them without my permission you're dead. D:<)

EDITTT;
Am I the only one who noticed that Cassis is playing EVERY DAMN TIME I write entries like these? o.O

ラベル: bawwww, being a happy twat, fangirlism is the best ism evarrr, gazerock is hardcore love, hah bloody hah, harhar, iconsss, this is srs bsns, uruduckie♥, useless worthless babblings