forget me not.
[ Listless ]CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: 十七歲 - the GazettE
It's exactly 7:30 in the morning as I'm typing this, and in two hours, my brother Joachin will be boarding in a plane to Japan.God knows when I can see him again, though Anabelle gave me her email just so we could chat and such, but still...
I was supposed to see him two nights ago, but things got complicated in both school and my health (been kinda sick recently, which explains my absence in all them f-list's comment boxes. LOL) so I wasn't able to. It's funny though, when he called me last night just to tell me that they were leaving (something I already know) and I asked him when will he coming back and he just put on a dead air and was like "Bye." then hanged up. o_____O;
Seriously, he's just so cute sometimes. xDDD
....*sighs*
But I guess it's better off this way. He have a far better future there than he'll ever have here anyway, and that gives us a reason to go there and visit him every once in a while, which is a good thing. I'm sad like crazy, but it's for his own good and I know just how happy he is to finally be living with his mom and there's no way any of us will even do something about it. It's just that...dad's taking it like a bitch, being all depressed, screaming and slamming doors at my face but hey, he'll get through it. Eventually.
Hopefully...
And in other news, I finally got to talk to my mom about Lilith's condition.
Sad news is, she already gave her Toshiba to my sister-in-law (God knows just how she managed to snake it from my mom, but whatever) and although mom said she can always get it back, she said she'll prefer it much more if she'll just get me a new one. I'm still battling though if I'll get a Dell one with the same model (hopefully, just a weebit smaller size because Lilith is like, 15.4 inches and carrying her gets troublesome after a while.DDD;) or a Toshiba Satellite Pro...OR, if mom actually agrees, with a wee more prodding she just might get me a Mac. Hahahhaha! But that last one was pretty far fetched, so I guess I'll just have to settle with the first two options. =/
I know that you've been hearing nothing but rants from me, and I know it gets sickening after a while but things aren't just doing good for me recently. It's like, all the things that made me happy was pulled away from me, all at freakin' once and I hadn't even realized it until when I cried my heart out while talking to my mom the other day. Everybody knows I'm not in that good terms with my mom, at least not as good as seeing and talking to her could make me feel so relieved that I just started crying. For once I actually ached for the people I forgot I love and it's just....blah.
Even my friends. I believe and could feel us falling out, for some weird reason. It might be because I dont really comment on people anymore (which is by the way, a shallow reason to have a fall out with friends) though I can't really blame them. I've been distant, and I've grown to not even give an effort to not let our friendship wither away.
The person who's making drawing herself away was me.
The one who widen the gap between us, was still, me.
