CURRENT MOOD: [ Confused o.O ]
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: 粉雪 - レミオロメン

I just had the weirdest gaze dream ever. o____O;
I was rushing in some kind of hall with a friend (whom, after waking up, I realized that I didn't know nor have met before) and she was literally dragging my ass to go faster because the Gazette's performing. So having been told, I tried my best to reach the place as fast as I could and when we got there, there's this massive stage, with fireworks and everything and when Gaze finally came into view, I heard Ruki announcing that they'll be performing their newest single off of DIM as an opening act.

And then it happened, Ruki straightened his hand, his palm facing the audience, while Reita, Uruha, Aoi and Kai emerged from the thick fog at the back of the stage, throwing these weird, awkwardly arrogant nods are each other and started....dancing. o.O

I knew it! I sooo knew it there was something fishy about it because I remember whispering to my friend something like "Where are their intruments?" and just...damn it. And what's worst is that Ruki and Uruha looked like they're soo into dancing and was totally working it. I swear to God I was soo shocked I can't even remember how it ended. I just woke up with this perplexed feeling coursing through my body. Seriously, never once I doubted my own sanity, until now.

*shakes head*

Actually, alot of strange things have been happening to me lately, in my sleep especially. Just two nights ago, I had a dream of Ruki pulling me in some dark room and when he opened the lights, there's this really huge (probably almost just as big as he is) cookie jar in the middle of the room and he was like "Hey! Don't just stand there! What the hell are you waiting for?!" then he rushed to the jar and dipped his hands to get himself some cookies. I just stood there and for some reason I started crying and that's pretty much how it ended.

And I've been feeling myself get up in the middle of the night as well. I couldn't quite remember what I did but I did felt getting up. And just this morning too, I was so certain that I shut Lilith down before sleeping but for some reason when I woke up, she's on standbye.

Seriously, I might just need to cuff myself. And no, it wont be a dirty as you all thought it would! *shifty eyes*

Anyways, a new post! (Why yes, I'm just getting started.)
I know some of you are asking why I haven't been posting, despite you guys seeing me online almost every damn day. The truth is, I've been trying to write, be it in a fic or just occasional letters for friends, updates, commenting on other people's journals...everything. I've been trying to be the friend you're all expecting me to be, but for some reason, for the past few days I've been feeling kind of...odd. Odd, in the sense that I haven't been feeling right talking to people. I haven't talked to Caitlin for two weeks, which is strange in every sense of the word since we always talk, but whenever I'd open my MSN and listen to people talk, I find myself being easily, royally ticked off.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's about people in general, really. It's more of like a personal issue. I've always been the type who likes people getting attached to her, but doesn't fancy her being attached to people. I draw myself back before everything gets serious, before I start caring. And I care for all of my friends, I really do. But sometimes I couldn't help but question myself of what we have, exactly.

Taken for instance, I have a friend whom I've been friends with for five years. We've gone through rough roads, fell apart and sewn each other back again and so on. And it's just...I dont know. It just hurts to think that one day, you're inseparable then the next you're treating each other like strangers. And what's worst is that I feel like for us to break this icy feeling, I should be the one who'd stretch a hand and reach out because I believe there's no way she would do it herself.

Then again, my question is, what am I to you, really?

.....*sighs*
This update isn't supposed to end this way but I guess I'll just write again later.

See ya, bitches. ♥

ラベル: fuckery fuck fuck, gazerock is hardcore love, lolwhuuut, sad horny dreams are sad and horny, shit happens, this is srs bsns, useless worthless babblings

CURRENT MOOD: [ Confused o.O ]
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: 粉雪 - レミオロメン

I just had the weirdest gaze dream ever. o____O;
I was rushing in some kind of hall with a friend (whom, after waking up, I realized that I didn't know nor have met before) and she was literally dragging my ass to go faster because the Gazette's performing. So having been told, I tried my best to reach the place as fast as I could and when we got there, there's this massive stage, with fireworks and everything and when Gaze finally came into view, I heard Ruki announcing that they'll be performing their newest single off of DIM as an opening act.

And then it happened, Ruki straightened his hand, his palm facing the audience, while Reita, Uruha, Aoi and Kai emerged from the thick fog at the back of the stage, throwing these weird, awkwardly arrogant nods are each other and started....dancing. o.O

I knew it! I sooo knew it there was something fishy about it because I remember whispering to my friend something like "Where are their intruments?" and just...damn it. And what's worst is that Ruki and Uruha looked like they're soo into dancing and was totally working it. I swear to God I was soo shocked I can't even remember how it ended. I just woke up with this perplexed feeling coursing through my body. Seriously, never once I doubted my own sanity, until now.

*shakes head*

Actually, alot of strange things have been happening to me lately, in my sleep especially. Just two nights ago, I had a dream of Ruki pulling me in some dark room and when he opened the lights, there's this really huge (probably almost just as big as he is) cookie jar in the middle of the room and he was like "Hey! Don't just stand there! What the hell are you waiting for?!" then he rushed to the jar and dipped his hands to get himself some cookies. I just stood there and for some reason I started crying and that's pretty much how it ended.

And I've been feeling myself get up in the middle of the night as well. I couldn't quite remember what I did but I did felt getting up. And just this morning too, I was so certain that I shut Lilith down before sleeping but for some reason when I woke up, she's on standbye.

Seriously, I might just need to cuff myself. And no, it wont be a dirty as you all thought it would! *shifty eyes*

Anyways, a new post! (Why yes, I'm just getting started.)
I know some of you are asking why I haven't been posting, despite you guys seeing me online almost every damn day. The truth is, I've been trying to write, be it in a fic or just occasional letters for friends, updates, commenting on other people's journals...everything. I've been trying to be the friend you're all expecting me to be, but for some reason, for the past few days I've been feeling kind of...odd. Odd, in the sense that I haven't been feeling right talking to people. I haven't talked to Caitlin for two weeks, which is strange in every sense of the word since we always talk, but whenever I'd open my MSN and listen to people talk, I find myself being easily, royally ticked off.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's about people in general, really. It's more of like a personal issue. I've always been the type who likes people getting attached to her, but doesn't fancy her being attached to people. I draw myself back before everything gets serious, before I start caring. And I care for all of my friends, I really do. But sometimes I couldn't help but question myself of what we have, exactly.

Taken for instance, I have a friend whom I've been friends with for five years. We've gone through rough roads, fell apart and sewn each other back again and so on. And it's just...I dont know. It just hurts to think that one day, you're inseparable then the next you're treating each other like strangers. And what's worst is that I feel like for us to break this icy feeling, I should be the one who'd stretch a hand and reach out because I believe there's no way she would do it herself.

Then again, my question is, what am I to you, really?

.....*sighs*
This update isn't supposed to end this way but I guess I'll just write again later.

See ya, bitches. ♥

ラベル: fuckery fuck fuck, gazerock is hardcore love, lolwhuuut, sad horny dreams are sad and horny, shit happens, this is srs bsns, useless worthless babblings