CURRENT MOOD: [ Bitchy >____>;)
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: DISCHARGE - the GazettE

Just some few, random things before I go up to Rachel's place and celebrate her birthday since it doesn't start till about 13:30. I have...*swips out watch* three more hours.

And I don't even know why I bothered saying that when clearly I have more than enough time. o____O;

- 15 days till my birthday! ^0^ Now, I'm not really the type who throws parties nor even expect gifts from people on my special day because clearly, I dont find it too...special, per se. True, it makes me a year older. True, the sun has circled around me yet again which people find exponentially important. True, my friends are pretty much waiting for me to stuff them till I can't possibly stuff them anymore (I mean, with food. And okay, that sounded soo weird and nasty but you get the idea. *nods nods*) so pretty much I'm not planning anything special. I never did.

But coincidentally, we have this classmate (he's a wee bit older, and already has a career so pretty much he's...capable, if you know what I mean) who said that he'll be throwing a pool party at his house on the 21st, since he won the PsychSociety election. And 21st is the eve of my birthday which is at the 22nd (Oh god, duh.) so pretty much we've come to the agreement that we'll just merge the celebration. Saves us some money, and saves me from being pestered by my classmates the next day, which is a good thing! ^^;

I'm quite nervous though, since like I said, I've never really done this before. Surely, Christopher might just ask me to buy us some drinks since he said he'll provide us with food but that's not even the case. I know this might sound a wee bit lonely but I've always been alone on my birthday. *smiles bitterly* Hahaha! Like, dad's most probably at work and so as my sister and brother, and I don't really go out with friends so pretty much I spend my day fiddling all over my room and cleaning the whole house. And...I don't know. Hahaha! I don't even know why I'm so nervous. ;>>A<<;

But hey, we'll see what happens. *shrugs*

- This might not be share-worthy, and I don't really want to jump into conclusions about this having some sort of meaning or anything but lately, I've been having...black outs. Yes, blackouts. Wait, I'm not really sure if it can be considered as black outs. o____O; All I know is that there were days where I can't even remember what I did and how I did things. Taken for instance, a week ago I was working on an experiment for my Experimental Psych laboratory subject and I remember chatting with Rachel as I did it, but I don't remember how I finished it since I've been complaining about a headache that night. So I logged off early, went to bed and when I woke up I remembered NOT finishing the experiment so I rushed to text Rachel and told her to wait for me till I finish it. But she just laughed at me and told me I already finished it, sent it to her and well, pretty much it's all set and ready.

I was...confused, because I totally remember not finishing it, same as me not remembering that I already finished it. Does it make sense? I mean, I know it might just be some case of forgetfulness but it's just...I don't know. And this isn't the only time it happened. It's like I'm on autopilot on something while my brain freakin' shuts down and my body does things that I do on a normal basis. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. DDDD8

Rachel said maybe I should ask my professors, or go to the Psych department and have it checked but I don't think it's necessary. Well, at least not till I start killing people without me remembering/knowing. Now, that would be worrisome. =/

- Jun finally approached me. Yes, Jun. Jun my old friend. She left a comment on the latest chapter of 'Dirge in the Beauty', saying she had finished her update and is just waiting for her beta-reader to send it back to her so she can post. I didn't respond at first, seeing as I don't really know what to say. A part of me was glad that she finally stooped down her stupid pride and came to talk to me. Although I know exactly why she's trying to come back to me now that Chuu had dumped her. Or it seemed like she had dumped her because Chuu is on my friends list at Facebook and she would always ramble about her "husband" for whom she really loves, which gave me the notion that they've broken up.

A part of me still doubts her. What is her intention, exactly? Has she matured enough for me to let her back into my life? Or is she just trying to reunite with me so she could go on and treat me like a rubbish bin like she used to? Oh I bet the first thing she'll ramble about would be how she and Chuu broke up, how she broke her heart, how she hated her and the world now blah blah blah and I just...I don't know. I can still write that next chapter, I know I can but generally, I don't think it's still healthy for her and I to do something together, seeing as how she reacted with issues the last time and I just don't want to go through it again, you know?

Apparently, Nadine had been commenting on that same chapter too, trying to make it up to me, I bet. She's acting like she've matured, or so I thought she did that's why I casually commented back since I don't really have any plans of letting her back into my life ever. But something still tells me she hasn't, or perhaps it's just this voice within me that doesn't give out second chances.

I stopped commenting back after a while, since I dont really see the purpose of it anymore. *shrugs*

AND I GUESS THAT'S IT.
Lol sorry if it's quite long and draggy. I don't think anyone will actually read this anyway but the hell. *shrugs* I was thinking of adding the memechirorichan tagged me with some days ago but this entry's been long enough. And I'm still working on that other meme star_jrock tagged me with, but I can't find pictures of Ruki half-nekkid! DDDD8 (much to my dismay, I say) but I just might post it later as well. ^^

ラベル: happy birsday greetings, harhar, shit happens, skewwwl, this is srs bsns, useless worthless babblings

CURRENT MOOD: [ Bitchy >____>;)
CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: DISCHARGE - the GazettE

Just some few, random things before I go up to Rachel's place and celebrate her birthday since it doesn't start till about 13:30. I have...*swips out watch* three more hours.

And I don't even know why I bothered saying that when clearly I have more than enough time. o____O;

- 15 days till my birthday! ^0^ Now, I'm not really the type who throws parties nor even expect gifts from people on my special day because clearly, I dont find it too...special, per se. True, it makes me a year older. True, the sun has circled around me yet again which people find exponentially important. True, my friends are pretty much waiting for me to stuff them till I can't possibly stuff them anymore (I mean, with food. And okay, that sounded soo weird and nasty but you get the idea. *nods nods*) so pretty much I'm not planning anything special. I never did.

But coincidentally, we have this classmate (he's a wee bit older, and already has a career so pretty much he's...capable, if you know what I mean) who said that he'll be throwing a pool party at his house on the 21st, since he won the PsychSociety election. And 21st is the eve of my birthday which is at the 22nd (Oh god, duh.) so pretty much we've come to the agreement that we'll just merge the celebration. Saves us some money, and saves me from being pestered by my classmates the next day, which is a good thing! ^^;

I'm quite nervous though, since like I said, I've never really done this before. Surely, Christopher might just ask me to buy us some drinks since he said he'll provide us with food but that's not even the case. I know this might sound a wee bit lonely but I've always been alone on my birthday. *smiles bitterly* Hahaha! Like, dad's most probably at work and so as my sister and brother, and I don't really go out with friends so pretty much I spend my day fiddling all over my room and cleaning the whole house. And...I don't know. Hahaha! I don't even know why I'm so nervous. ;>>A<<;

But hey, we'll see what happens. *shrugs*

- This might not be share-worthy, and I don't really want to jump into conclusions about this having some sort of meaning or anything but lately, I've been having...black outs. Yes, blackouts. Wait, I'm not really sure if it can be considered as black outs. o____O; All I know is that there were days where I can't even remember what I did and how I did things. Taken for instance, a week ago I was working on an experiment for my Experimental Psych laboratory subject and I remember chatting with Rachel as I did it, but I don't remember how I finished it since I've been complaining about a headache that night. So I logged off early, went to bed and when I woke up I remembered NOT finishing the experiment so I rushed to text Rachel and told her to wait for me till I finish it. But she just laughed at me and told me I already finished it, sent it to her and well, pretty much it's all set and ready.

I was...confused, because I totally remember not finishing it, same as me not remembering that I already finished it. Does it make sense? I mean, I know it might just be some case of forgetfulness but it's just...I don't know. And this isn't the only time it happened. It's like I'm on autopilot on something while my brain freakin' shuts down and my body does things that I do on a normal basis. BUT I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. DDDD8

Rachel said maybe I should ask my professors, or go to the Psych department and have it checked but I don't think it's necessary. Well, at least not till I start killing people without me remembering/knowing. Now, that would be worrisome. =/

- Jun finally approached me. Yes, Jun. Jun my old friend. She left a comment on the latest chapter of 'Dirge in the Beauty', saying she had finished her update and is just waiting for her beta-reader to send it back to her so she can post. I didn't respond at first, seeing as I don't really know what to say. A part of me was glad that she finally stooped down her stupid pride and came to talk to me. Although I know exactly why she's trying to come back to me now that Chuu had dumped her. Or it seemed like she had dumped her because Chuu is on my friends list at Facebook and she would always ramble about her "husband" for whom she really loves, which gave me the notion that they've broken up.

A part of me still doubts her. What is her intention, exactly? Has she matured enough for me to let her back into my life? Or is she just trying to reunite with me so she could go on and treat me like a rubbish bin like she used to? Oh I bet the first thing she'll ramble about would be how she and Chuu broke up, how she broke her heart, how she hated her and the world now blah blah blah and I just...I don't know. I can still write that next chapter, I know I can but generally, I don't think it's still healthy for her and I to do something together, seeing as how she reacted with issues the last time and I just don't want to go through it again, you know?

Apparently, Nadine had been commenting on that same chapter too, trying to make it up to me, I bet. She's acting like she've matured, or so I thought she did that's why I casually commented back since I don't really have any plans of letting her back into my life ever. But something still tells me she hasn't, or perhaps it's just this voice within me that doesn't give out second chances.

I stopped commenting back after a while, since I dont really see the purpose of it anymore. *shrugs*

AND I GUESS THAT'S IT.
Lol sorry if it's quite long and draggy. I don't think anyone will actually read this anyway but the hell. *shrugs* I was thinking of adding the memechirorichan tagged me with some days ago but this entry's been long enough. And I'm still working on that other meme star_jrock tagged me with, but I can't find pictures of Ruki half-nekkid! DDDD8 (much to my dismay, I say) but I just might post it later as well. ^^

ラベル: happy birsday greetings, harhar, shit happens, skewwwl, this is srs bsns, useless worthless babblings